The Office Elves

“… stop blowing my balls!!”
-Simmi

As most of you already know, and even some dared to have a bite, we got the one and only cake, the OZC (pronounced “ozc”), also known as the Official Zignal Cake.

Black on the outside, but very very green in the inside.
With just a bite and you’ll find yourself in another world, a world where exist epgs with all your daily scheduled meetings and tasks, a world where you can tune any radio or tv station, play your favorite games and check the weather forecast without moving an inch. A world where you can change your settings to better suit your mood, a bit more transparency in some cases, a bit less volume on others. A world where reminders pop-up coming from no-where. A world where the IP and the TV are a happy little couple that bake pies together on Sunday mornings, just before church. A world of fantasy!!

It is all that and more… or… just the effect of the radioactive waste, fundamental element of this recipe, along with three eggs and 752g of chocolate! We shall see if we’ll be around within three day from now…

“Making out with seven people at the same time is also exhausting!”
-Fannar

Can the careful eye of the reader recognize those lovely people?

Some of you may not know, but two of our core developers went abroad.
Simmi went to London with a full luggage packed with condoms. Visiting an old “friend” he said…
Fannar went to his roots, down to that country where dressing yellow and blue is seen as a very male viking thing.
But before he left us, he draw the following and said that was the path!

Was he meaning “the path to madness”?
Would we see dinosaurs if we un-focus our eyes in that “path”?

Y’all heard about the so-called TFC and their activities, right?
No, ii’s not a football club nor a fancy drink nor a pill that makes you see pink elephants.
The Funny Committee is a small and reserved group of funny people, tales say, that get together for planning & beer every Friday, rumors say, to provide us, common, vulgar and non-funny people, a party, celebration, animation, sing-start contest or what-ever those crazy minds can came up with - y’all know what they are capable of -, once or twice a year, statistics say. We are therefore truly thankful for their existence and tired for excited while waiting for the following upcoming event.

But all this to say what, you may be wondering…
Well, it has been a week and a half since this acclaimed committee “hired” a supposed funny person for their funny staff. Their choice fell over the person who promised worlds of fun, something unimaginable, even funnier than a Teletubbie episode, if you can imagine such thing. And what we’ve seen until now? Nothing.. just a big bunch of emptiness..

Simmi boy, for what all the promises?
Are you applying for President soon?

Stop fooling around and give us the cheering entertainment we were once persuaded to believe in.

Good day fellow Industrians. It’s with a heavy heart the we the Office Elves report to you the lies of a fellow co-worker.

As without doubt all of you know, we reported last week how Bjarki decided to get stuck in the elevator for his own personal gain. And as you might have noticed Bjarki responded by calling us liars. His exact words were:

what are you talking about?
I only on my way up to the 4th floor!
This I call harassment, I’m speaking to HR now….

We the Office Elves don’t take such accusations lightly and therefore sent out one of the team to investigate.

The result of that investigation is back and it is shocking…Bjarki has lied. We know, how can that sweet little teddy bear lie? But he did.

Exhibit A:
We reported that Bjarki was stuck at the first floor but he said that he was only arriving to the 4th floor. The following pictures proof our story:

Picture 1: Notice the chipped elevator sign

Picture 2: The 1st floor elevator sign, clearly chipped

Picture 3: Un-chipped 4th floor elevator sign

So as you you can see the pictures tell the whole story, Bjarki was indeed on the first floor.

But knowing how sneaky he is we expect him to say next that he simply is so small that he doesn’t stand taller in the elevator, so we decided to disproof that as well.

Exhibit B:

Picture 4: Bjarki next to our own office Biffi, proofing his endless height.

So our dear reader, please take this as a clear sign that everything we write here from now on will be the whole truth and nothing but the truth all the time. Remember this!

Is work getting you down?
Do you need a few minutes of “me-time”?

Our beloved Bjarki experienced these exact thoughts yesterday and decided to do something about it. Being the resourceful person he is, he decided to simply get stuck in the elevator…nicely done Bjarki.

To the office elves Bjarki said: “These were definitely the best 30 minutes of my day”

And be welcome to this dark corner of the world.
- where fantasy gets real and the impossible is possible -

…do you feel safe?